Forward to next poem

Back to last poem

Back to DL25 page


It started on YouTube
Badly filmed amateur footage
Of people falling over and
Making fools of themselves.
Old people slipping in the rain,
Young people tripping on the stairs,
Actors tripping over their lines,
Stoneheads tripping so much they couldn’t walk or talk.
In the background
You could hear people pissing themselves,
Uncontrollable, moronic laughter,
Difficult to understand sometimes –
Perhaps you had to have been there,
But besides, it became like failing to see the funny side was somehow..funny.
The origins of it all
Were obvious of course –
You’ve Been Framed which paid £200 per fail,
Tarrant on TV, and similar clip shows.
But YouTube turned it Global –
So cheap and easy, anyone could do it,
Trip, film, catch, post up the clip, simple as
Bish, bash, bosh, job done –
Another failure in the eyes of society.
PR men started seeing the marketable value,
Celebrities, business, Government wanted in;
David Beckham filmed himself tripping over a football,
David Blunkett…filmed himself.
The fail fashion was taking force,
Failing markets was a big trend –
All the city boys competing to be the worst,
Sometimes simply failing to show up for work;
Failing to understand women was the new way of flirting.
There were worries when God got in on the act,
As crops failed everywhere.
Starving millions didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.
Philosophers were confused –
If failing was the best thing,
Then didn’t that mean success
Was the ultimate failure,
And so succeeding must be best after all?
Well, in the end, they never bothered finishing their papers,
And just buggared off down the pub.
And as for poets, well they just
Couldn’t give a……… (poet falls over theatrically)